The Feeling You Get When…

I am very much on the verge of having an anxiety attack today. I have been in a state of anger for a couple of weeks now and I am feeling a sense of losing control. Every cell in my body just wants to give up. I want to give up on my marriage, I want to quit my job, I want to quit school, and on the way out say “Fuck You” to everyone in my path!

I am tense in my shoulders, in my head, my back! This is the feeling I get before I act out. I am trying so hard to hang on and not to lose it! Then there is this voice in my head that says, “Why?” Why are you hanging on? Why don’t you just let loose? Why are you trying so hard? Why does it take so much work for you to be happy…to be normal?

Just one day, a full 24 hours of not feeling this way would change my life.