I Regret It All!!!

Nothing is worse than the feeling of being unappreciated in your own home! I’ve been away from my husband and son for two days. At first, I was like, “yes, time away to relax and have responsibilities to myself or them.” But, by the second day I was missing my family and hating the fact that my husband and I have to do things separately because we don’t have someone readily available to watch our son. All that is to say, I was ready to come and take care of my motherly and wife responsibilities. That is, until o walked in the house.

My husband is really effective at making it seem like he has no respect for my space in the home. He’ll toss his or our sons stuff over mine, not even move it out of the way, just completely disregard I have something there and proceed to put their stuff wherever. Not only is it a mess I cannot stand, but the lack of thought, “oh that’s her stuff, let me get mine out of the way” or “this is her area, let me not put my stuff there” (he has his own designated spaces throughout the entire house). This lack of respect for my space makes me feel insignificant in my home. The home that we have because of me.

Then to top it off, I go to pick up my son and he cries like I’m some stranger! Like, my entire life doesn’t revolve around him! I get he’s only a child but he doesn’t treat his grandparents that way. People he goes months without seeing but as soon as he does, he lights up! I’m here every day, getting him up, taking care of his every fucking need. I’m gone two days and I get treated like a stranger?!?!?

EVERYTHING I am doing is for the benefit of my family and they show me all the time that they could care less about it. Every chance my husband gets he’s trying to leave the house or get away from me. He says “so you can have your space”. I never asked for space! I asked for help taking care of our son when I decided to go back to school! I guess, on the other side of that, if someone else always has my fucking kid because I’m at work, or at school, then its not so far fetched that he looks at me like a stranger.

This is my family that makes me feel like shit everyday! Its so clear I am not needed around here! So what the fuck am I doing all “this” for?!?!?!?