The Narrow Place

In the pursuit of your own happiness, what are you willing to risk? Are you willing to take the risk of exposing your true self to the people who have only ever known the world you have created? A world in which you’re not happy but you are safe. A lifetime of avoiding risky decisions in pursuit of this safe place only to find that you really aren’t safe because you attack yourself for making the very decisions that have taken you away from your own happiness. Do you expose yourself trying to find this happiness, just to find out that your decision making skills are weak in reality and you were wrong about the things you thought made you happy? But for a moment, to feel that freedom of expressing your true self, is it worth it?

In the pursuit of your own happiness, what are you willing to risk? Are you willing to miss out on that feeling of freedom and uninhibited happiness in order to maintain the safe and reliable world you created? You have a job, you have a partner, you have a child, and you have responsibilities just like everyone else…Just. Like. Everyone else! There is no uniqueness in your safe place. Day in and day out of predictability. You decided to create this place and sit in that space because to the outside world told you that you have done everything right. Now you can work every day and do the same thing over and over again until you die. But, you can do it safely! It looks right to others but it’s not what makes you happy, is it worth it?

Its a narrow place that you know, you are familiar, but you are not happy here. But its safe! Safe from judgements and harsh realities. The reality that you may not be as smart or as thoughtful as you wanted to believe you were. The narrow place where you have built your walls for the perception of others, a perception you crafted for them to see. Meanwhile, inside those walls, you are dying. You, the person you really are, is dying. And you feel it. You feel the complicated layers of what makes you who you really are fall to the waste sides crowding that narrow space you’ve built jeopardizing the structure and strength of the walls. The walls of your narrow place are about to fall and you feel it! Can you withstand the exposure? Can you let people see what you’ve been hiding? Do you risk letting them see and hope that their judgments of you won’t hurt your feelings too bad? Or do you stay in the narrow place and continue to patch the walls as they become weaker with time. Do you continue to work yourself to exhaustion to maintain your “safe world”? The latter sounds exhausting, it is exhausting. You know it’s exhausting because you’re tired, you’ve been tired. I am tired of the narrow place. And now, now it is time to risk it all because there is no safety here anymore.